I was diagnosed

with breast cancer early June and have had a mastectomy, reconstruction and am now commencing a course of chemotherapy for the next six months. Two weeks ago I had Plan A and Plan B in place, Plan B in the event the cancer had metastasised, in other words incurable. It has been a life changing few weeks facing the possibility of an earlier end to my time on this earth. I then learned I am one of the incredibly fortunate women to have the cancer remain localised and removed. The care I am receiving under our health system can not be faulted.

When I read the following report written by RNZ's Ruth Hill it was heartbreaking to think of the many women going through this terrible trial with such a depressing outcome. There may be some of you reading this in this situation and it makes me feel ashamed that this should be allowed to happen in this country.

New Zealand Falling Behind in Breast Cancer Treatment - Ruth Hill, Reporter RNZ, 8 September

The "I'm Still Here" report from the Breast Cancer Foundation has found the average survival rate for someone whose cancer has spread beyond the breast and lymph nodes to another part of the body is just 16 months, compared with two or three years or more in Australia, Germany and France.

For Māori, the five-year survival rate was just five percent, compared with 15 percent for non-Māori.

The foundation's research manager Adele Gautier said New Zealand was "world class" at treating early breast cancer.

"Sadly, the numbers prove the same can't be said once breast cancer spreads."

The study, which used data from the Breast Cancer Foundation National Register (covering patients in Auckland, Waikato, Wellington and Christchurch) has found half did not receive chemotherapy and those who did were often bumped to the back of the queue.Up to a quarter did not get any treatment at all.

The chair of the foundation's medical advisory committee, Dr Reena Ramsaroop, said the findings backed up patients' complaints they felt "forgotten".

"No-one wants to think we are falling behind the rest of the world, yet the evidence is clear that this is happening."

Ōtaki woman Sandi Davison, 54, was diagnosed with breast cancer seven years ago.

Persistent back pain a year ago prompted her GP to refer her for scans at Palmerston North Hospital, but the results - which would have shown cancer in her spine - were lost in the system.

This experience prompted her decision to go under a private specialist eight months ago.

"It will end up costing me but at least I know that I'm not going to fall through the cracks, especially at this tentative stage where unfortunately it's still coming up in my bones and it hasn't actually stopped.

"We kill it in one area and it pops up somewhere else, so very close monitoring is what they're doing at the moment."

She had radiation treatment for her back but the cancer is now in her pelvis and she is facing the prospect of paying $10,000 a month for chemotherapy.

Ms Davison, who still works full-time as a nurse manager, said greater access to treatment would not only extend lives but also quality of life for many people. She was not surprised that survival rates were better over the Tasman.

"In Australia they always do 'markers' - blood tests that show if you've got activity happening in your blood, so potentially cancer happening somewhere. They do it as a matter of routine.

"I have it done now - my oncologist requests it - but when I've had treatment in the public system, the nurses in the Blood and Cancer Unit have said 'Don't you realise this is really expensive testing you're asking for?' And I say, 'My oncologist is asking for it, so I want to have it done'."

Ms Davison, who is Māori, said the abysmal survival rates for tangata whenua could be partly due to the fact Maori were being diagnosed later.

"I think the younger generation are better at looking after themselves, but those my age and older are not so good at getting things checked out.

"It could also be the type of cancers they're getting are harder to detect, or that people living outside the main centres don't have access to the same treatments."

In response to questions about the study's findings, the Ministry of Health said there was "debate" about the benefits of additional chemotherapy for those with advanced breast cancer.

Dawn Wilson, the manager of cancer services commissioning for the Ministry, said people with late stage cancer could have had multiple courses of chemotherapy before getting to that stage.

The Ministry was working with specialists to improve the quality of cancer treatment options and data collection, she said.

Hands up those who have been struggling with this question.

What do you want to do with the rest of your life. Many of us are in our 60’s and 70’s and experiencing a slight sense of urgency to fulfil a desire to find our true passion, direction and purpose while still mentally and physically fit and healthy.

Years spent catering to the needs of husbands and children meant pushing our own needs, passions and purpose to one side. Now, after all the years of putting ourselves second, the family dynamic has likely changed, children have left home, maybe your marital status has changed, you may still be working and have more time and maybe more funds to spend on yourself. It’s now hard to figure out what it is you really WANT to do with the rest of your life.

How do you rediscover what your passions and purpose are….it’s so confusing!

To those of you that have been through this experience and come out the other side with an understanding of what your purpose and new-found direction in life is we would love for you to share that experience with us.

Lets get a conversation going!

Is it time to look at what we are being charged for food grown and produced in NZ?

Should there be a cap on the markup that NZ producers can charge for their product to the NZ consumer.

There has been much in the news lately about the cost of butter, and dairy in general on the local market. Fonterra’s justification for the cost just doesn’t wash with me.

Over recent years the amount of food my dollar can buy had dropped drastically, it’s no wonder so many families are suffering and having to rely on food banks. The health of many families is suffering because they cannot afford to buy real food, relying on cheaper processed products.

We produce some of the best dairy products in the word, grow wonderful fruit and vegetables and honey, and we produce some of the best beef and lamb. The best of these products are exported overseas, and it appears we see just ‘seconds' on our shelves and pay well over the odds for the food produced in NZ.

One way or another, via subsidies, concessions or the environment every one of us pays in the production of these products yet we have to pay overseas market prices for them.

This has got me thinking.

Should we now call on our government to look at bringing in a requirement for every food producer in NZ to supply a % of their best quality product to the NZ market at a cost plus a manageable margin.

Look at the prices and quality of the following products on your supermarket shelves and imagine them being available at 20% - 40% less!

DairyBeef & lambFruit & vegetablesHoney

Let’s start a conversation…………….

I had toyed with letting my hair go grey after years of dyeing, but I enjoyed the fun I could have changing the colour. Of course, I also thought thought keeping my hair coloured was more youthful.....until I saw a recent image of myself.

Both my sisters have gone that beautiful silver grey and it suited them which I envied. Unfortunately, my hair was going grey very unevenly, so I figured I would just continue with the dyeing process. Recently I realised the grey roots were coming through more obviously and needed attention every 4-6 weeks instead of every 8 weeks.

Finally, a picture taken for my work website recently revealed I had been failing to consider the fact my skin tone had changed and that colouring was aging. So, it was time to do something.

Over the years I had been to Buoy Salon & Spa in Wellington so I set up a consultation and resolved to trust their recommendation.

I met with Colour Director, Chinney Yeap and Master Stylist, Bev Dodd who listened to my concerns, and fears about not wanting to be boring. Both Chinney and Bev came up with a colour transformation and style that would work for me. They gave me the confidence to begin the process to transition to grey.

So, a week later the process began. Now before you switch off thinking, ‘she didn’t have to pay for any of this, it was done in exchange for advertising or plugging Buoy Salon’, wrong, I paid for the service and products myself. I am so pleased with the results and with the confidence Chinney and Bev gave me I wanted to share it with you and encourage those of you considering transitioning to grey to have a consultation with the best you can find.

I asked Chinney and Bev to share their thoughts from our initial consultation.

Chinney Yeap – Colour Director

“To grey or not to grey? How do I work with my grey? These are questions I face with my clients everyday. My mission is to transform the way woman feel about grey. It's not the enemy but do we have to look old? No. My passion is creating bespoke colour for each and every woman and teaching them how to see their grey in a different light whether is softening their root colour or going blonde or something else all together! I was so excited to go on this journey with Pauline.

I wanted to give her a colour that would make her feel fresh and youthful and show off the texture of her beautiful curls complementing Bev’s gorgeous haircut. We spoke about taking Pauline lighter to blend the Grey rather than trying to force them away behind a heavy blanket of high maintenance colour. I think she looks absolutely stunning and was so pleased she put her trust in us to give her a makeover”.

Bev Dodd – Master Stylist

“I'm so glad I was given the opportunity to cut Pauline's hair. On our first consultation I could see that she that she was ready for a seriously quality haircut. A Haircut that would not only suit her face shape and compliment her features but one that would bring her beautiful natural curl back to life and be easy to style herself at home. I believe Chinney and I nailed it with this fresh new look. It was a pleasure for me to do the transformation along with Chinney”.

I am thrilled with the results, the colour now compliments my skin tone and it takes me 10 minutes in the morning to repair any pillow hair, it just bounces back into shape. Even the Wellington wind can’t beat it.

From the moment I walked in the door, through the colouring process and the cut I was treated to the most professional and friendly service. This, along with the final results, is why I want to share my experience of transitioning to grey and encourage you if you are thinking of making the change, to find a salon like Buoy Salon & Spa if you are not based in Wellington. It is worth seeking out only the best.

Buoy Home page

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To finish, I did purchase a range of recommended products

At Home Care for Pauline’s Hair

At home care is key to ensuring each client can care for and style their hair beautifully between their appointments. Smartbond at home Conditioner will care for the colour and Kerastase Discipline range to pump as much goodness into the hair and combat the frizz.

Kerastase Discipline Oleo CurlKerastase Discipline Mousse Curl IdealKerastase Elixir Ultime Oleo Complex

We're not perfect, and we’re certainly not perfect in the eyes of our youth-centric world with its emphasis on skinny, shiny and sleek.

Some of us may be a bit wrinkled and dimpled, but we should not be afraid of our imperfections or be self-conscious – at all.

If we were to dare to wear slightly more outlandish clothes and peacock colours that could actually make us look really great, then we could gain new confidence and unleash a new personal, unique style .

There is no reason why we cannot brighten our own wardrobes up with some brave and exciting pieces. Most of us cannot afford to spend what these delightful New York ladies can, but it only takes one special carefully sourced piece to bring some excitement to our 'look' and delight others just as these ladies do.

Sometimes we feel (and I am guilty of this) that we become invisible as we age. Perhaps this is just part and parcel of fearing to stand out. Instead of being brazen enough to make an impression we blend in and become just like every other grand-mumsy women who’s relinquished bold and accepted bland with sensible after 50.

It's not too late to be challenged!

It’s our differences that make us unique; the way our wrinkles lie, the clothes we choose to wear, our talents and gifts.

‘Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.’ ~Lao Tzu

For years, like the continual re-run of a bad movie I was reminded of the things I have done and said, things that have caused me shame, embarrassment and guilt.

There was no way to put things right or change any of those things. I wasn’t the perfect mother I had always dreamed I would be, nor could I put right the damage from a troubled relationship, I couldn’t take back the cruel words said to others in the heat of the moment, I couldn’t return the goods shoplifted goods taken when a young adult.

The weight of these memories was weighing me down, but how could I change my personality, to change me! Who the hell did I want to be, did I need a personality transplant?

Revelation…. we are all the product of our genes, our environment and our life’s experiences, the decisions we make in life also play a part, they shape who we are. Why try to change, I just need to become a better version of myself!

There has been little in my life that has made as much an impact as learning to be content — with my life, where I am, what I’m doing, what I have, who I’m with, who I am.

There is no way to account for the tremendous change that happens when you learn to accept who you are, to stop criticizing yourself….you are happier, you are a better person to be around.

This is not a magical state, and doesn’t require any new tools or books. It’s simple, and I’ll share what has worked for me.

Learning to Be Content

Take a moment to be grateful for something. What in your life is amazing? Even if everything seems to suck, there must be one good thing.Catch yourself thinking, “This sucks.” It’s amazing how often people think this thought. “This sucks!” Reverse the thinking. Find a way to be thankful for the situation.Find the little things that can give you simple joys. What do you need to be happy? I love simple things, like taking a walk, taking a yoga class, spending time with family, watching a great movie, enjoying a glass of wine. Find the simple things that give you similar happiness, and focus on those rather than what you don’t have.Find the things about yourself that you’re happy with. We tend to criticize ourselves easily, but what if we turned it around and asked, “What do I do right? What am I good at? What is lovable about me?” Start to focus on these things rather than what you’re unhappy with.

A crossroad is about change.

Life’s crossroads are supposed to create opportunity for us to choose between different options, choices that must be made — not just when things are not working out as we had planned, but also during positive moments when we must choose to continue the course or veer off into something new such as when we experience an ending in a marriage, a change in careers, political upheavals, the end of child-rearing, or challenges with our health.

The crossroads are not limited to the years we have spent on this earth, and in my experience they don’t get any easier.

What we find ourselves facing can either inspire us to choose differently, or during these moments of change we can paralyse ourselves with fear. Oh, for a divine message, a bolt of lightning, or a lotto ticket win.

I read that making a crossroads a moment of profound and lasting change and learning how to thrive when life’s changes descend upon us can be learned.

Let’s see how……

1. Do not settle for normal. When our habitual response leads us to what is expected and customary — when we choose ordinary — we can expect the unremarkable. Well, unremarkable is not what we are! 2. Do not resist. Attempting to control, manipulate or force things to happen is a typical response to the fear that comes with change. Some of us will be so fearful that we refuse to make a change without understanding that even if we choose not to make a decision or take action, this in and of itself is a choice.

3. Trust your deepest feelings for guidance. We all know, deep within ourselves, what we need to do — what we know, how to think, when to trust — during times of crisis. We can learn to access and trust our innate wisdom; it is personal and always available. Through this, we will know how to adjust our course, move toward our personal destiny. When we don’t follow our inner guidance, we feel a loss of power and energy. Whiteboard the pro's and con's?

4. Dream bigger. Change what you expect from life and then create a plan and work to cultivate the right conditions for your growth and success. It’s never too late, you are never too old to dream bigger!

5. Limit distractions and strive to create balance in the midst of chaos. When we let go of our own or other’s agendas and when we push away the demanding concerns of the moment, we are able to hear our own thoughts. Be true to yourself!

6. Failure is just another way to start again. When we face a crossroads with fearlessness and the choice turns out to be prosperous, we are hailed as a genius or visionary. When our choice creates failure, then we are judged harshly, ridiculed and diminished, and it has the potential to make being fearless more difficult when we face the next crossroads.

We must remember that failing creates not only additional opportunities for success, but fosters courage and determination in those of us who are brave enough to attempt it.

For many years I have been inspired by the words of Katherine Mansfield.

Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.

You might think that the hardest thing about getting older is learning to deal with other people’s changing expectations. After all, women our age are often expected to be invisible by the rest of society. In movies and on TV, older adults are treated as “cute and forgetful,” at best, to “mean and grumpy,” at worst.

Are We Our Own Worst Enemies After 60?

Perhaps the biggest battles we have to fight in our 60s are with ourselves. We can choose to live up to society’s expectations and sit in front of the TV all day. Or, we can get out into nature and improve our bodies and minds. We can accept invisibility, or we can start blogs, get active in political and social causes and continue to share our wisdom and experience with the world.

Are All the Wrinkles in Our Heads?

This quote by the Renaissance philosopher, Michel de Montaigne, who said, “Old age puts more wrinkles in our minds than on our faces.”

There are several ways that you could interpret this. Perhaps he was saying that many of the issues that we face as we get a little older are in our heads. Wrinkles are inevitable. Letting them make us think that we are old is a choice. Small aches and pains are either a challenge that prevents us from getting out of the house – or a source of motivation for getting us out of the house.

Of course, there are exceptions to this way of thinking. Some of us experience genuinely tragic events as we age. We acknowledge that not every problem in life can be overcome with positive thinking.

Wrinkles are small “imperfections” that really have no impact on our life – yet, we somehow allow them to change how we feel about ourselves.

In other words, we may not always have control over the “big stuff,” but, we can always choose how we react to the “small stuff.”

What Are You Doing to Get More from Life After 60?

No doubt you've spent the first few weeks of 2017 bombarded by different diets. We always find the sheer variety of weight-loss tips on offer at this time of year astonishing.

Scientifically speaking, though, there's only one weight-loss tip you really need to learn to get a healthy figure and a radiant youthfulness. And that's to ditch diets altogether.

You can trust us when we say this; one of us is a Nobel prize-winning molecular biologist and the other a health psychologist, and we've devoted years to discovering how to slow life's clock and the ageing process - inside and out.

Our scrupulous research, which has generated a whole new field of scientific understanding, has helped us pinpoint how you can glow with health and youth when your contemporaries are succumbing to wrinkles, grey hair, exhaustion and illness. It adds up to a revolution of sorts.

So what is it? The answer lies at the end of your chromosomes - the string-like structures that house your DNA. Chromosomes can be found in every single cell in your body, from the tips of your fingers to deep inside your lungs.

At the end of each DNA string lie little-known things called telomeres. Think of them as the plastic bits that cover the end of your shoelaces. The longer they are, the more they protect your DNA from 'fraying' and succumbing to disease, and the more youthful and happy you will be.

It's simply never too late to reverse old age. It doesn't have to be a one-way slippery slope towards infirmity and decay. For even if your telomeres are short, you can help them stabilise or grow - no matter how old you are.

All you need to do is follow our simple suggestions for turning back the clock.

Let's examine how the food we eat not only affects the size of our waistlines, but can also make us age badly by shortening our telomeres. All this week, we'll give you mouthwatering, telomere-friendly meal ideas to inspire you to make vital nutritional changes.

Telomeres offer a priceless insight into the foods that are best for us.

They show how our body responds to what we eat at a micro-biological level. So it's crucial that we consider our telomeres when we're deciding what to eat. Encouraging your telomeres to grow and flourish will protect you against all manner of diseases and the early onset of old age - and your tummy will certainly become trimmer, too.

You'll be delighted to hear that starvation or strict rules that cut out whole food groups are not part of the plan.

All fruits and vegetables - but especially those containing high levels of antioxidants, flavonoids and/or carotenoid are telomere lengthening foods. Photo / 123RF

But there are still a few no-nos. One is refined sugar. Not only is it packed with empty calories, but it wreaks havoc on your body, ageing you inside and out. We even found that enjoying soft drinks every day had the same ageing effect on the telomeres as smoking.

Another no-no is processed foods - especially meats such as ham, sausages and corned beef, which have strong links to cancer.

But the good news is that coffee's still on the menu, as is a small evening tipple. And - as we'll explain, much to the relief of those who dread getting on the scales - it's more your shape that's really important, not your weight.

Why your body shape matters

Many of us devote a huge amount of time and emotional energy to eating less, convinced that being super-slim will make us feel younger and healthier.

Yet being overweight (but not obese) is - surprisingly - not strongly linked to ageing and having shorter telomeres. (In fact, depression is three times more likely than your weight to adversely affect your telomeres.)

Nor is being overweight (again, not obese) strongly linked to increased mortality. What matters far more than your weight is what body shape you have.

In short, forget your body mass index (BMI), because we've found highly convincing evidence that those with hourglass and pear shapes - who have slim waists and big bottoms and thighs - are more likely to age well than apple shapes, who carry weight around their middles.

This is because the fat stored just under the skin or in the limbs may be protective, while fat stored deep inside us - in the belly, liver or muscles - is a real threat to the health of our telomeres, and therefore a threat to how well we will age. So if your waistline is bigger than your hips, beware.

One study predicts that those with a greater waist-to-hip ratio, such as the classic apple shape, have a 40 per cent greater risk of developing shorter telomeres, and thus ageing faster. But the main risk that comes from having fat around your tummy is diabetes.

Too much belly fat can cause your body to become insulin-resistant and unable to process the glucose in your bloodstream.

As well as this, we've found that people with more tummy fat also go on to develop shorter telomeres, which are likely to worsen the problem of insulin resistance.

Add to this the fact that tummy fat is more inflammatory than thigh fat - and thus highly damaging to the cells of your immune system - and you can see how having a large middle poses a triple-threat to any chance of you achieving a healthy, youthful vitality.

Much better, then, to have a large bottom.

Best and worst foods

TELOMERE SHORTENING FOODS

• Red meat, processed meat • White bread • Sweetened drinks • Foods high in saturated fat • Vegetable oils, such as rapeseed and sunflower, unhealthy snacks including most crisps and biscuits (anything high in omega-6 polyunsaturated fats) • Alcohol (drink no more than four units per day)

TELOMERE LENGTHENING FOODS

• Wholegrain produce such as brown rice, brown pasta, brown bread • All fruits and vegetables - but especially those containing high levels of antioxidants, flavonoids and/or carotenoids (such as red, purple and blue berries, red and purple grapes, apples, kale, broccoli, yellow onions, tomatoes, spring onions, plums, carrots, green leafy vegetables and, in smaller portions, potatoes with skins on) • Nuts and legumes, such as beans, peas and lentils • Seaweed • Foods with omega-3 oils - salmon, mackerel, tuna, sardines, eggs, broccoli, kale, • Brussels sprouts, cauliflower • Low-fat, high-quality sources of protein, such as organic free-range chicken • Seeds • Green tea • Coffee

Two cans of sugary drinks a day are as bad as smoking.

Yes, it's a something of a cliche to say that sugar is the new smoking. But this may actually be the case with liquid sugar.

The most potent form of sugar in our diets is from soft drinks. They deliver a sweet hit quickly, with no fibre or any other nutritional benefits to speak of. There are around nine teaspoons of sugar in a single can of cola, when the recommended adult intake is just seven teaspoons a day.

When we examined people who drink around two cans (approximately 600ml) of sugary soft drinks every day, we found that their telomeres were around 4.6 years older than those in people who avoid soft drinks. That, astonishingly, is about the same amount of telomere shortening as we'd expect to find in smokers.

By 2031, New Zealand will be home to more than one million people aged 65+, or one in every five people. For the first time ever, there will be more people aged 65 and over than children under 15.

This means the supply of young people entering the labour force is declining, just as the large baby-boom cohort approaches the ‘traditional’ retirement age. The first baby-boomers turned 65 in 2011, with the retirement of many resulting in a reduced labour force supply and skills shortages.

New Zealand has a relatively high level of participation in paid work by older people. While this suggests a certain level of employer willingness to hire and retain older workers, other evidence shows discrimination and barriers still exist.

The importance for the older woman of remaining in the workplace cannot be underestimated. Remaining productive, maintaining social interaction and financial reasons are uppermost, in addition to just enjoying the job.

Challenge myths and change attitudes The talents of older workers risk being wasted due to false assumptions and stereotypes about their skills and performance. Among the most pernicious of these is that older workers cost more, are more prone to health problems, can’t adapt to workplace changes and new technology, perform more poorly than younger workers, and represent a poor return on training investment.

Current and future cohorts of older workers will be healthier and fitter than those of generations past, as well as better educated, more familiar with technology and likely to have longer working lives.

Employers can demonstrate their belief in the value of mature workers by providing exposure to role models that do not fit stereotypes , as well as informing workforces on the business benefits of older workers. These benefits may include older workers’ lower turnover and absenteeism, their reliability, commitment, experience, life experience and people skills – the latter two points are particularly helpful for companies wishing to engage with an ageing and relatively affluent consumer market.

A New Zealand study into hiring discrimination found that recruiters may be more discriminatory than employers, with younger workers seen as more suitable and statistically more likely to be shortlisted. In administration and sales, resumes of workers in their 20s were 6 to 12 times were more likely to be shortlisted as the equivalent resumes of those aged 55+. Some recruiters will not put forward candidates 50+.

Ways for New Zealand to make better use of older workers

Attitude change through education on the realities of the ageing workforce and the best way to manage the resulting issues;Deconstruct myths that perpetuate negative, ageist stereotypes;Promote strengths of older workers such as interpersonal and customer service skills, lower turnover rates, reliability and work ethic, experience and knowledge and problem-solving abilities;Age and diversity training for managers and recruiters, particularly those who are younger;Recruitment and promotion based on merit, not age;A lifelong-learning approach to training and development and performance management in the workplace;Age-appropriate training methods, and content and training that is job-specific;Job agencies geared to the needs of older workers and staffed by peer group;Quality jobs – not just low-skill, low-pay work – that also accommodates those older workers who wish to ‘downshift’ in choosing roles with less responsibility;Working conditions such as flexibility, extended leave and part-time work ;Raise awareness of older people’s eldercare responsibilities and that they may be assisting in out-of-school care of grandchildren;Avoid equating older age with poor health, but consider job redesign and the health and safety needs of those who may have health issues but need to keep working;Wording and placing job advertisements to reach older workers and indicate they will not be excluded on the basis of age, by saying, for example, that older workers welcome or encouraged to apply. When advertising, specifying the experience and competencies required for a role rather than asking for a fixed number of years’ experience.

Oh, the desire to travel!

The impulse is visceral in some of us. We can feel it in our chests, our shoulders, our throats. We need to go!

But sometimes our bank account says no. Which brings us to the issue of saving.

You know where you want to go but after reviewing a basic budget you realize that you don’t have the money. Should you go into debt for travel? It’s not a good idea. But saving that much may seem impossible. You feel paralyzed. Please relax. Even if the ability to save was not bred in your bones, it can be learned. Let’s go through the process of saving step-by-step so you can get that dream trip.

13 Suggestion on Ways to Save Money for Travel

Money can buy happiness. You just have to spend it in the right way and on the right things.

Everyone’s life is different. What one person gives up to save will be different than another. I’m not going to tell you to take shorter showers or stop buying lattes. But in another way we are all similar. We tend to spend as much money as we have, making the process of saving similar whether you earn $25,000 or $250,000. Here’s what you need to work through to save money for travel.

You can’t save without knowing what you spend. A couple of years ago I tracked and categorised every expense I had for a few months and discovered that every month, for some reason or another, I had about $800 in surprise expenses. Yikes. No wonder I couldn’t save – I was being blindsided all the time. To save money for travel, start by tracking every cent you spend. Categorise those expenses and include a category for the unpredictable.Set your financial travel goal. Research the trip you want to take. Get a sense of what it will cost, then round up the number. There are two reasons for doing this. One is so that you have a nice simple figure in mind as your goal. The second is so that you have some space for a budget that balloons. The bigger the number the bigger the round-up. $8,750 doesn’t become $9,000, but rather $10,000. This is because there are more ways to balloon the cost of a big-ticket trip than a small-ticket one.Create a budget. No one likes a budget. This is usually because the budget isn’t based on the right information, making it unachievable, or it isn’t made with wonderful goals in mind such as travel. Since you have tracked your expenses you can now set a realistic budget. In doing so, allocate all your income in some way or another, whether it’s to an expense or savings. Then calculate and project how your savings will add up month over month.Modify if necessary. Will your projected savings reach your financial goal in the time you want? If not, either review your budget and decide where to cut or modify your trip plans to align better with your financial situation.Imagine living your dream trip every day. Screensavers are great for this. When doing your trip research find a photo that really inspires you. Right click on the photo, save the image to your desktop and make it your desktop picture. Print out a copy and put it on your fridge. Get an Instagram account and follow a hashtag for your destination. Keep your motivation high by having your trip all around you.Take a minimalist approach. The minimalism trend is about having what you need and no more. Or, if more, it’s because there is something that you really, really desire. You may consider books an absolute must in your life. Then have more books than necessary. But before making any purchase, give it serious consideration. How much do you need it? Could you borrow or rent it instead? How much will it contribute to your happiness?Save money day to day. How you save money will depend on your lifestyle but make it a habit and a daily practice. How much you save daily will depend on your income and how you spend. Find ways to cut back $5 a day to contribute $25 per work week over and above what you already plan to save based on your budget. If you buy lunch and take taxis every day, $40 a day is a possibility for you. That’s $800 a month!Pick a bank and credit card that give back. Choose a bank with low fees to save a bit more every month. Some will run campaigns where you can earn bonuses.Set up a travel savings account and an automatic withdrawal just for travel. Having a separate savings account specifically for travel lets you see your progress towards your travel saving goals. Having an automatic withdrawal from your regular account to your travel account ensures that you save to it regularly. $20 a week is over $1,000 a year. $100 per bi-weekly pay cheque is $2,600 a year. Direct funds into this account on a regular basis and give it a bonus deposit when you can.Know what kind of spending makes you go off the wagon. Some of us spend more if we have cash than if we use credit cards. Some are the opposite. Others whip out the debit card without thinking. Know what form of money you are more likely to spend frivolously and don’t carry it.Tell people about your trip plans. Declaring your big goal will help you achieve it. Discuss your trip plans with others. Get recommendations from people who have already been. Bringing your travel dreams into the light will make them more real, make you feel more accountable and more driven to success.Use loyalty programs wisely. Airlines, credit cards, hotels… there are many opportunities to save points that equate to dollars to spend on or save for travel. Sometimes there are opportunities to save these points in more than one way at once.Ask for money. Rather than gifts, ask family and friends to give you money for birthdays and other special occasions. Not everyone likes giving money but when it helps make a dream come true, people will be onside. Take every $5, $10, and $20 bill and stash it away in your travel bank account.

Saving money for travel can be a challenge regardless of how much or how little we make. But knowing that you can meet this challenge and how to do so will make it a reality.

We keep a lot of our lives online without realising it. Email, e-Books, music libraries, document storage, our family photos and long distance friendships mostly live online. The Internet is a part of our lives. And so is death.

It’s not something we like to talk about, but we’re all going to die. So what happens to all our Internet stuff in the event of our death?

InternetNZ has since put together a one-page recourse. It explains why this stuff is important to think about now, has a handy checklist so you can start being prepared and links to some more resources should you want more information. This resource is here to help you organise your online assets now, and save your loved ones a lot of time and hassle after the event of your death.

When people have ‘real life’ assets– like houses, savings accounts and cars – we think about what will happen to them after we’re gone. But do we think about our digital assets? What about all your music? Your iCloud, DropBox or OneDrive subscriptions are great, but what happens when your subscription runs out? Will your family be able to recover important records?

Getting your Facebook, Twitter, Trade Me, Instagram, Amazon and iTunes accounts sorted isn’t as simple as your family emailing the company and advising of your death. You need to plan ahead so your loved ones know what you want to happen with your digital legacy.

Never before has the subject of women’s sexual health been discussed as much or as openly as it is now! Unlike many of our mothers and grandmothers, we’re not “out of business” once we’ve gone through menopause, and we want to learn all we can to help us stay physically–and sexually–healthy.

Taking into account the “use it or lose it” credo when it comes to our vaginas, we have to learn about the sexual health issues women face in their forties, fifties, sixties, and beyond. Here’s the low-down on the late fifties and the sixties. You can learn about the forties here and your fifties here.

IF YOU’RE IN YOUR LATE FIFTIES OR SIXTIES Bladder leakage is a common concern for women in their sixties and might actually be an even more uncomfortable subject for discussion than sexual problems. Women are mortified to broach this topic, but there’s a reason why the incontinence pad industry is so lucrative. Although genetic factors, such as weak pelvic tissue, play a role in leaking urine in your later years, other issues are influential, such as childbirth, diuretic medicines (water pills), heavy caffeine intake and obesity. Some problems are correctable; some not so much. Avoiding caffeine, maintaining a healthy weight, and doing kegel exercises are other important pearls to consider.

IF YOU’RE IN YOUR SIXTIES There’s a strong population of women who remain sexually active and vibrant in their sixties. Certainly, there’s another group who have acquiesced and are acclimated to the fact that they’re less sexual, and they’re fine with that. They have a good relationship with their partners, and they are happy with alternate forms of intimacy, such as cuddling, hugging and mutual masturbation. Oral sex is especially popular since penetration can become uncomfortable and erectile dysfunction might also be an issue. Moisturizers and lubricants are all important at this age and vaginal estrogen is another option.

The pendulum regarding hormone replacement therapy has swung once again. Systemic hormone replacement therapy is a viable option for some and each woman is individual in her needs with dosing and duration. Menopause shouldn’t be looked upon as a disease but rather as a natural rite of passage and a truly liberating time when you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant or bleeding.

I say best to embrace it!

Those of us who love chocolate don’t really need an excuse to eat it every day ― having a bar stashed in the kitchen is reason enough. But if you’re one of those chocolate lovers who feels a little bad about your habit, we have great news for you: eating dark chocolate with a high cocoa percentage is a part of a healthy diet. Some would even say that it’s a beneficial part of your daily diet.

If you’re looking to validate your sweet habit, behold, here are eight reasons you should feel good about your dark chocolate obsession:

1. Dark chocolate just makes you happy. Not just because it tastes so dang good ― which definitely helps ― but because it contains tryptophan. Tryptophan is an amino acid that’s used by the brain to make serotonin, the neurotransmitter that makes us feel happiness.

2. Dark chocolate with a high cocoa content contains a solid amount of soluble fibre. A 100-gram bar of 70-85 percent chocolate has 11 grams of fibre. Soluble fibre helps keep cholesterol down, keeps you feeling fuller longer, and is good for your digestive health.

3. Eating dark chocolate might be good for your brain. That’s right, eating chocolate may keep your brain sharp and help you ward off dementia. A four-decade long study found that people with frequent chocolate consumption performed better on brain-powered tests.

4. Its good for your heart, too. Eating dark chocolate may lower your risk of cardiovascular disease. One study showed that eating chocolate five or more times a week lowered the risk of cardiovascular disease by 57 percent.

5. Its got the flavonoids we all want and need. Flavonoids are a plant-based antioxidant found in cocoa, and are one of the main reasons that dark chocolate is so good for you. These antioxidants may lower blood pressure and cholesterol, and also maintain the health of your blood vessels.

6. Dark chocolate is also good for your skin. Eating it can actually help protect you from sunburn thanks to two antioxidants, phenols and catechins, found in dark chocolate.

7. Its a natural stress reliever ― and we can all use a little less stress, especially these days. Dark chocolate is found to lower the levels of stress hormones, which could very well be part of the reason you crave the stuff when feeling stressed out.

8. NZ has the NZ owned Whittakers Chocolate Company! Fairtrade, no palm oil, no milk in their 72% plus dark chocolate range, no GM ingredients. Lucky us!!!

There’s only so much sand left dropping in my hourglass.

When I was younger, I wasted so much time obsessing over matters I couldn’t control. Not anymore. Here are seven things I no longer worry a whit about now that I’m over 60.

1. A waning libido.

My husband and I have been married 21 years. For the first several years of our marriage, I’d worry myself silly every time my spouse and I went longer than a week without having sex. I now know that there is no such thing as a “normal” level of sexual desire and in fact it is not unusual these days for women to forgo sex completely. They have better things to do.

2. My handbag

When I was younger, I wouldn’t have been caught dead carrying the same handbag for longer than a few months at a time. It’s a different story now that I’m beyond 60. The bag I’m using now is the same one I was using a year ago. (At least I think it is.) It’s comfortable. It has lots of pockets. It works for me and my lifestyle. Oh, and it’s black so it goes with pretty much everything. I’d rather spend the money on a new pair of jeans.

3. My shoes.

Sticking with the fashion theme, I no longer care about wearing stylish shoes that are uncomfortable. And that means I no longer care about wearing heels of any height. Feet that have been tortured in past years no longer cope with spikey heels and pointed toes. If they aren’t comfortable ― or they make me feel wobbly ― I’m not wearing them.

4. That it’s never too late to think of, or consider a ‘new career’ or starting your own business. About four years ago the idea came to me to design a website dedicated to presenting articles and encouraging discussions of interest to NZ’s women of a ‘certain age’.

This has not been without its’ challenges, but with the fortitude women our age are renown for I pressed ahead anyway.

My credentials…absolutely none in this area, but I would never let a lack of skills get in the way of my passion for a great idea. It’s never too late to learn and up-skill.

5. Guilty pleasures.

I no longer care if it’s weird that I still love Jimi Hendrix and Led Zepplin, or that I can devour an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips in one sitting. Nor do I care what people think that I had a tattoo done in my 60’s and am thinking of adding to the gallery. I probably still shop too much when I should be saving for my ‘retirement’.

Lastly, I went ahead and booked an overseas trip…on my credit card…Now THAT is a guilty pleasure. My justification for all this….I still work full-time and I could be hit by a bus tomorrow!

6. Spending time with people I really don’t like all that much.

I used to be such a people pleaser that I’d accept almost every lunch or dinner invitation, even if the person presenting it wasn’t really someone I wanted to spend time with. I don’t chase people anymore. There’s a great quote I often see on Pinterest but am not sure who first said it: “I’ll never fight for someone’s attention. Either I have it, or I don’t.”

That pretty much sums up the way I feel these days. There’s only so much sand left dropping in my hourglass, which is why I now only spend time with people I really REALLY want to be around.

7. Going out.

I have to admit that, I still love going out and having a great time, but usually for an occasion like a birthday or celebration with family or close friends. But, the drink driving rules now make it tricky, so it’s easier just to stay home and have people over to stay.

Also while it’s still fun to go out ― there’s nothing better than watching a movie and having a glass or three of wine with my husband and children, or friends.

Do you hate your selfies? It doesn’t have to be this way!

Here’s the thing: the reason young people take such good selfies is twofold. First, they are

young, so every picture looks great. Youth is beauty. And secondly, what they don’t tell you is: they practice, practice, practice.

We think they hold up a phone and snap, voila. What you don’t know is they have taken hundreds of pictures of themselves and scrutinized them for days, until they figured out their face, their pose, their look.

Selfies Are Anything But Casual

They are actually very studied. The key is to understand your face. To understand your angles. To change your angles. To figure out and tweak your weak spots. To be aware of shadows and lighting. And that’s why there are fashion photographers! Snap.

Understand that what works for Kim Kardashian won’t necessarily work for you. So, first thing, know the shape of your face.

First of all, for the women out there, there’s makeup. The makeup you put on to go out into the world, is not the same makeup that registers in a selfie. Make up in a selfie always has to be stronger, to the point where you would feel ridiculous being out in public looking like that.

The Attributes of a Good Selfie Are: Lighting, Angle, Direction and Expression

It’s all about downplaying your “bad” points whether it’s your arms, your ears and your neck. It’s about understanding how the shape of your face changes as you move your angles or lift the camera up, down, off to the side. The change in light angle can work magic too.

A selfie is about creating and constructing an illusion.

The neck is all important. You want your neck. You want to make it as long and thin as possible. Don’t squash yourself into your shoulders. Don’t put your chin down and hide your neck.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Try shooting yourself in bed, in a mirror, sitting on a chair, backwards, forwards, in elevator mirrors, lying in bed and sitting on the couch.

You need to edit yourself just as an art director edits thousands of shots for Vogue. To show yourself as YOU want to be seen. Try different expressions. Go “cray cray.” (That’s millennial speak for “crazy.”)

Now, a Few Words About Facial Expression

In the fashion world you rarely see smiles in photographs or on the runway because smiling is problematical. You must either look grim, mysterious or moody. Selfie queen Kim Kardashian never smiles because, “smiling makes you look fat,” which is apparently the worst thing in the world to her. So she goes for grim or annoyed. Grim is cool.

Smiling is a messy business: eyes squint, cheeks protrude, there’s the toothiness or the closed lip. It’s why we apparently should “smize” – what Tyra Banks teaches her models on America’s Next Top Model. It’s smiling with your eyes. Hold your mouth still and think smile, but don’t smile. It’s hard to do. Fabulously alluring when it works. It’s smiling with your eyes open and your lips in a bare quiver.

Finally, never give the “say cheese”, the new accepted practice is to oversmile. It’s an over the top smile that hurts your face and makes you feel positively ridiculous when you do it. But the result in the photograph is a happy person who just looks like she’s smiling. It’s brilliant.

Selfies seem casual, but they’re not. The young people have practiced snapping themselves more than we ever want to know. So now that you know the secret of the casual selfie, go forth brave Moxie's. But most of all, have a blast! And remember, even “beautiful people” can look bad in photographs.

There is no denying that getting older is tough, financially, socially and psychologically. We are told the more positive we feel, the more likely we will be to do the things that really improve our lives – eating right, staying fit, getting out into nature, pursuing out passions and making friends.

Setting Unfair Expectations?

One of the risks of being positive all the time is that you can set unfair – or even unachievable – expectations for others. The tendency to put a positive spin on things can alienate people from taking the first step towards building the lives that they deserve.

In other words, even if we agree that we have a lot of control over our lives after 60, maybe it is worth taking a moment to recognize the tough things about getting older. Perhaps if we share the struggles that we are going through, even if only for one day, we will be able to deal with them more effectively.

What Do You Find Difficult About Getting Older?

I’m going to share my greatest issues with getting older…..

The realisation that I am not as financially secure as I should be. Yes, I should have been saving and preparing for my retirement years, but my tendency to live in the moment and to enjoy the finer things in life was uppermost. Now, being faced with life on the super in about 5 years, albeit with a mortgage free home, I am quite fearful of not being able to have that facial or take an overseas trip every couple of years.

Another thing that I find super frustrating about getting older is my inability to get in great shape. I’ve tried everything – yoga, circuit training, weights, long walks and numerous diets. No matter what I do, I just can’t get there.

To be clear, I’m not trying to look better for anyone else. I just find it frustrating that I don’t have the flexibility, energy and strength that I did as a younger womаn. There is so much in this world that I want to see!

Ok, those are my two biggest complaints about getting older. Now it’s your turn!

A lot of us will set ourselves up to fail with insane resolutions that we cannot possibly keep – beating up ourselves when we struggle - perpetuating a cycle that chips at your self-belief.

Others will not bother with new year resolutions because we have learned they do not work for us.

One of best things you can do in this New Year instead of writing resolutions is to focus on your priorities and who you want to become as your journey through the next year. Do this instead of focusing on a list of things – things you think you are supposed to achieve!

As the year progresses and we settle into our routines, the time consuming demands on our time will start coming in asking for a piece of yourself and your time.

The thing that is going to keep you on track during this period is your ability to stay in tune with your priorities – what you value the most in life.

Focusing on your priorities will help you say yes to the right things over the course of the next 365 days.

If you so choose here are 3 simple things to do this January:

Get your priorities right. Particularly for your personal life and business. What are your top 3 priorities for the year? Write these down.How are you going to ensure that you consistently direct your time and energy towards achieving these priorities? How do you need to organize your time? Make the necessary commitments and get your dairy out and schedule them in.Don’t give up. You’ll not always get it right but at the very least this will be a huge improvement on last year if the majority of your time is spent on things that you consider to be your priorities.

You’ll get a lot of requests for all sorts of time-consuming activities this year. They will all sound pretty interesting and sound like things you should be doing but remember that a yes to one thing means a definite no to something else.

And yes, older women can wear jeans.

To clarify, we are not talking about low rise, hootchie mama denim jeans. BUT a nice pair of trouser cut, straight leg or wide leg jeans look fabulous on older women. If you’re a bit larger on the bottom, try a trouser cut or boot cut jean, as the flare will help draw attention away from your mid section and make you look slightly taller.

Also look for jeans with at least 2% spandex/lycra content. This will allow the jean to stretch to fit you and help to control any problem areas. Some stores to try; Farmers, Ezibuy, Verge, Caroline Eve. All have an online store.

And about those skinny jeans!

If you’re a bit smaller on the bottom, then yes (gasp), you’re a perfect candidate for straight leg or skinny jeans (even if you have a bit of tummy). For those of you with a bit more of a tummy, try skinnies as they have a bit higher rise (which will help it sit better on your waist).

Also, if you have gray hair, the dark navy colour of the jeans really set off the gray in your hair. Pair the jeans with a bright coloured tee from a store like Old Navy or a fitted sweater.

But please, for all that is fashionable and good in this world, avoid wearing denim from head to toe.

So what makes a great seat? That all depends on personal preference and the type of flight you are taking.

Seat features to consider:

Seats have varying widths. Larger passengers or parents with a child traveling on their laps may prefer roomier seats.Some seats do not have windows.Some seats have limited legroom, while others may have more than a standard seat.Some seats have reduced seat width, while other coach seats have extra width.Some seats have limited recline or do not recline at all. For example, the seats in the row directly in front of the exit row often do not recline. And, on Spirit Airlines, none of the seats recline.Some seats lack a seat-back pocket and/or seat in front to stow carry-on items.Some seats have outlets and USB ports, which can be a great perk on long-haul flights when you need to get work done or want to stay powered up.

Passenger types and seat feature combinations to consider:

Business travelers or those with connections: Choosing an aisle seat toward the front of the plane can afford you the opportunity to be first off the plane.Travelers with large carry-on gear: Choose a seat toward the back of the plane as most airlines board from back to front, assuring better odds of finding space in the overhead bins.Nervous fliers: Consider a seat over the wing, which is less effected by turbulence.Travelers on long-haul or overnight flights: If you’re hoping to sleep, consider a window seat, which offers a convenient spot to rest your head between the seat and the wall, eliminating the awkwardness of accidentally resting your head on the shoulder of the stranger next to you, or consider an exit row, which offers space to stretch out.Tall passengers: Consider an exit row or some bulkhead seats, which provide extra pitch, the distance from one seat to the seat in front or behind it – what travelers often refer to as “legroom.” The pitch varies from seat to seat, row to row, type of aircraft and airline. Bottom line: the higher the seat pitch number, the better.Passengers flying with infants: Choose the bassinet positions offered in bulkhead seats. Those with children should consider the non-exit row bulkhead seats, as they tend to be closer to lavatories and provide extra space for kids to spread out.

Map it out

While many airlines have the same airplane models in their fleets, most configure the interiors differently, so it is important to look at the seating map not only for the airplane type but also the airline you are flying. Check out Seat Guru for details on your flight's seating plan.https://www.seatguru.com/

Book wisely

Buy airline tickets early. The earlier you purchase your airline ticket, the more options you will have for choosing the best seat. However, charge to select seats. Airlines often hold or reserve a number of seat assignments for airport check-in, so the number of pre-assigned seats passengers can select at booking is often limited.

Most airlines allow you to check-in online within 24 hours of departure. If you couldn’t select a seat when you booked your ticket or you want to change seats, checking in online often allows the chance for selecting seats that weren’t available before, like frequent flyer seats — seats previously assigned to fliers who have been upgraded to premium classes like business or first class.

With flying often being the most expensive part of a trip, we all need to know how to get the best possible deal on a flight.

Ideally it would be paid for completely by points. But what if you’re not that frequent a flyer? What if you don’t rack up points on a credit card with expenses that get reimbursed by your employer? What if you’re just the average traveler with an average job?

Start by signing up for a travel rewards credit card and use it for every purchase possible. (Read Decide on the Right Travel Rewards Card.) But those points are for the future. You need solutions now. So here you are…

10 Simple Steps to Getting the Best Deal on Flights

“I like to describe myself as a proudly visible member of the most invisible segment of our society — older women.”

After decades spent trying to follow the culture’s party line about women, make a stand and get a subversive thrill from trying to disrupt it. Our thoughts affect our emotions and self-concept, which then shape our actions.

You could look at yourself and see a middle-aged, cash-strapped, over-worked woman OR you could see yourself as a survivor who has shed her Stepford Wife shell and now isn’t letting anyone dictate how she should live, who she should date, or what kind of intimate relationships she should have.

Shrugging off society’s death knell to mature women takes audacity, something every 50-plus woman needs if she doesn’t want to go gently into that good night.

Feeling invisible stems less from one’s appearance, and more from the value we put on other people’s often shallow judgments of middle-aged women. It’s up to your refusal to listen to the messages telling you you’ve passed your expiration date, and to be determined to create a brilliant second act, that will make you seem younger than your years.

And proudly, defiantly visible.

If you knew that living to 100 was likely, would you do anything differently? Would you invest in your health more? Would you change the way that you invest your money? Would you change where you retired? Would you invest more in your friendships and family relationships? Or, would you keep things just the way they are?

Over the last century, we have seen life expectancy rise dramatically. According to current thinking if you were 60 years old in 1911, you could expect to live about 15 years longer. Now, the average 60-year-old woman will, on average, live 24 years.

Could You Afford Living to 100?

Most of us simply aren’t prepared for the possibility of living to 100 as most of us haven’t saved enough to live comfortably into our 80s, let alone into our 100s!

It’s also our perspective on healthy aging that may need a drastic overhaul. For example, if you knew that living to 100 was a sure thing, would you be more likely to invest in your health now? Would you walk more? Would you join a gym or take up yoga?

If you are lucky enough to have the choice to continue working, would you continue making money in your 60s and 70s, knowing that you would almost certainly need it in your 80s, 90s and older?

What would you do differently?

Divorce for women over 50 gets a bad rap. We have this cultural conditioning where we tend to see a divorced woman left with nothing. She has nowhere to turn and having no clue what to do with the rest of her life.

The process of ending a marriage, especially a decades-long one, can definitely shake up your life in all aspects. From the financial to the emotional, there are many unexpected good lessons that divorce in later-life have in store for us.

Discovering a Whole New Side of Yourself

Ending a decades-long marriage is traumatising. For years we defined ourselves as wives, mothers, partners, and always as part of a unit. From an early age, we may have been taught that there was no greater goal for a woman to obtain, and so we dutifully carried out that role.

Then the divorce happened. We felt like our life and world disappeared in a matter of seconds. Everything was in jeopardy and we felt like we lost a part of ourselves that would never return.

Yet, through the navigation of divorce, something started to happen. In a search for solace, we made the wise decision to do things to bring us comfort and joy. Maybe we started to spend more time with friends and family. Perhaps we pursued interests and hobbies that we felt we never could in our marriage. We may have returned to work.

At first these things seemed scary because we were not used to them. But gradually, as we started to enjoy these new pursuits, we may have discovered that they were opening a door to a whole new world for us. One where we could start defining ourselves as businesswomen, fierce gardeners, amazing friend, world travellers.

Being Alone Can Be Amazing

One of the reasons many of us chose to stay in an unhappy and unhealthy relationship was that we did not want to be alone. We told ourselves that being with a partner, even if the love and respect we deserved was no longer there, was better than being with no partner at all.

However, as the divorce progressed, we may have noticed something happening. The house that we came home to was peaceful for once. Everything was where we had left it, without anybody to clean up after. There was no resentment to grow. We were able to read a good book on the couch. We discovered that we liked coming and going as we pleased. There was no partner to worry about. The ability to set our own schedule and run our homes and lives without worry about our spouse was liberating.

The ability to sit by ourselves, go places and explore the things that we wanted to do was wonderful. The feeling of freedom started to replace that fear of being alone. The panic of having nobody there faded. The pain of agonizing about life without a partner dissolved.

You Are Stronger Than You Can Ever Imagine

Women over 50 do not give themselves the credit they deserve. We may have panicked during the divorce process. We may have spent sleepless nights thinking, “I built my life around this marriage and I have done everything for this partner. What on earth am I supposed to do without him? Where will I go?”

But a funny thing happens during the split. We figure things out. We don’t run to our partners, telling them “I have no idea what to do! Please come back to me!” Instead, we start researching our options. We start consulting divorce professionals who help us navigate the murky waters of divorce.

When we started to panic about the financial aspect of things, we learned how to budget. We discovered how to save, how to cut back, and how to make things work for our lives, regardless of income.

Slowly but surely, day by day, before we even knew it, we were taking care of ourselves. We are making the best decisions for ourselves and for our future. Figuring out how to get our happiness back and reclaim our own lives becomes a priority.

Divorce can help us lean unexpected lessons about ourselves. We discover our new identities, embrace our time alone, and realize our own strength. These are not only unexpected lessons from a divorce, but some of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.

Martha Bodyfelt, divorce coach

Sixty-one is an unusual age to become a global style icon. But that’s exactly what has happened to Sarah Jane Adams, an Australian woman whose unique ability to mix Adidas sportswear with tropical prints and pieces she has collected on her travels has made her the star of Advanced Style: Older and Wiser, a new book celebrating older women’s style around the world.

In an interview with The Telegraph Sara Jane explains;

I don’t like being called a fashion icon. I’m an anti-fashion icon. I find the pressure to keep up with fashion alien. I always have. I went from school uniform to jumble sale and thrift shop finds. I never go to shopping centres or department stores. Although I sell jewellery, I rarely wear it.

I don’t wear heels, I don’t own a full-length mirror and I’ve never worn a bra because there isn’t one small enough.

I don’t try to be ageless. I’m fine being 61. It’s like money – I’ve learnt through business that money’s just a commodity to allow you to do things. Age is just something you are, so deal with it.

I can’t cope with people who have cosmetic surgery and put rubbish in their hair. Ageing gracefully is ageing as you are, not with a face that looks as if it will melt as soon as you go out in the sunshine.

In fact, I created the ‘my wrinkles are my stripes’ hashtag after I was bustled into a shop in Sydney’s city centre (I mistakenly thought it was a jewellery shop) where a girl started dabbing creams on my face.

‘This gets rid of your wrinkles for a week,’ she said and I leapt out of my seat. ‘No, no no! I love my wrinkles,’ I replied.

EQUALLY I’m not obsessed with weight.

I own no scales, no tape measure and none of my clothes have sizes in them. All these things are what give me my sense of freedom and the courage to do crazy sh-t.

I practise yoga but I eat whatever I want. I never eat low-fat. I don’t eat red meat or sugar and I prefer organic when I can but I’m not hung up about it.

That’s not to say I ignore ageing. I sold my family home and got rid of most of the contents because I don’t want my daughters to have to clean up after me when I’m gone. There’s so much anxiety in getting rid of parents’ things. We’ve been sold this story of how there’s security in having stuff but it’s simply not true.

I’ve been offered lots of business opportunities. I’ve said no to most because I didn’t want to go there or sell that and because I fear age has become a sales technique, the new ‘heroin chic’.

“Be yourself. Speak for yourself.”

Sarah Jane Adams, Sarahmaijewels

The idea that younger people are smarter and savvier than their older counterparts is inaccurate!

Scientists have discovered that despite a few short-term memory glitches and a slower processing speed, our mental capacity doesn’t even reach its full potential until midlife. They are learning that the brain continues to change and grow throughout life. One key area of growth is the accumulation of white matter in the sophisticated thinking centres of the brain (which peaks around 50). Because of these two factors, Boomer women can manage information better, analyse facts better and generate meanings that were entirely beyond them when they were younger.

Of course, the most important difference between older and younger brains is also the easiest to overlook: older brains have learned more than young ones. They’ve been around the block a lot more times, seen the world, made mistakes, made discoveries, managed recoveries and made amends.

Says George Bartzokis, UCLA neurologist:

“In midlife, you’re beginning to maximize the ability to use the entirety of information in your brain on an everyday, ongoing, second-to-second basis. Biologically, that’s what wisdom is.”

Studies have shown that years of experience and practice enable older adults to build up a rich library of alternative ways to solve problems or make decisions that allows them o bypass steps needed by younger adults. We get better at sizing up a situation and problem-solving. We have more confidence in our opinions, feelings and decisions and don’t need validation from others. We are more pragmatic. We develop a richer vocabulary and a better understanding of how to use these words effectively. The abilities we learned earlier in life and gained proficiency with over the years are now smoothly polished and almost second nature.

Does all this make Boomers smarter than Millennials? At this stage of life, it just might!

Sales and marketing to Boomer women efforts would be wise to assume these women are smart, sophisticated and discerning.

Women are more sensitive to nuance and underlying meanings, and they respond emphatically and negatively to what men might categorize as minor oversights. This tendency makes selling to women a more detail-oriented endeavour. The flip side is that positive actions and small courtesies go a long way towards earning her trust and business.

Not Every Salesman Can Sell to Women This Way

At a recent sales training seminar I realized I have to be a little more specific on this point. A very experienced and successful salesman came up to me after the seminar and told me how pleased he was with the seminar and all the new stuff he’d learned. He said it had never really occurred to him to do the small courtesies before, but if “sucking up to the client is what it takes to make the sale, I guess I can do that.” I thought he was joking at first, but he wasn’t!

It reminds me of a scenario in Dr. Deborah Tannen’s book You Just Don’t Understand! in which she recounts a psychologist asking a husband-wife pair of respondents what they thought “politeness” meant. They answered at the same time: the woman said “consideration for others,” while the man said “subservience.” Asking around among my male acquaintances reveals that quite a few men share this attitude.

Since, to many men, my recommendation to offer small courtesies when selling to women seems antithetical to their culture, I now hasten to add: If you can’t do it with genuine sincerity, don’t do it at all. Women will see through fakery, and instead of having gained her appreciation, you’ll have lost her trust, and her likely her business!

This quote by the Renaissance philosopher, Michel de Montaigne, who said, “Old age puts more wrinkles in our minds than on our faces.”

There are several ways that you could interpret this. Perhaps he was saying that many of the issues that we face as we get a little older are in our heads. Wrinkles are inevitable. Letting them make us think that we are old is a choice. Small aches and pains are either a challenge that prevents us from getting out of the house – or a source of motivation for getting us out of the house.

You might think that the hardest thing about getting older is learning to deal with other people’s changing expectations. After all, women our age are often expected to be invisible by the rest of society. In movies and on TV, older adults are treated as “cute and forgetful,” at best, to “mean and grumpy,” at worst.

Are We Our Own Worst Enemies After 60?

Perhaps the biggest battles we have to fight in our 60s are with ourselves. We can choose to live up to society’s expectations and sit in front of the TV all day. Or, we can get out into nature and improve our bodies and minds. We can accept invisibility. Or we can start blogs, get active in political and social causes and continue to share our wisdom and experience with the world.

Michel de Montaigne picked the word “wrinkles” for a reason. These are small “imperfections” that really have no impact on our life – yet, we somehow allow them to change how we feel about ourselves.

In other words, we may not always have control over the “big stuff,” but, we can always choose how we react to the “small stuff.”

Here’s the reality of being 60-something: You have less time than ever before to make your life the best it can be. This is not meant to be a downer. In fact, it’s the opposite—a call to action: take charge, face your fears, leave a legacy, protect your health.

You can do it! Simply ask yourself, “What do I NOT want to regret when I’m looking back on my life?” Here are some thoughts to get you started. (You can add to the list as it suits your personal needs.)

If you’re in your 60s, consider the regrettable ramifications of the following things.

Holding on to a grudge

Someone once said that holding on to a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It hurts you more than the offender. Need proof? Researchers at Hope College discovered that when study participants thought about their enemies in “unforgiving ways,” the stress response—sweating, heart rate, blood pressure—increased. And Tina Tessina, Ph.D., psychologist and author of The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty, adds, “Forgiving doesn’t mean it’s okay that the other person did what she did; rather, you’re saying, if only to yourself, ‘ I release you from this resentment.’” Big diff.

Postponing an estate plan

Granted, it’s one of the less fun things to do in life, but the legals say, “Aside from the many legal benefits, planning your estate is truly a selfless act. If you are without a plan, you leave your heirs wondering about your wishes, which can lead to problems and infighting. When you take the time to plan your estate, you remove that burden from them by letting them know exactly what you want.” It doesn’t matter if you’re single, have minimal assets, whatever, put a plan in writing.

Deciding it’s too late to make new friends

If you’ve reached your 60s, you already know that friendships often change during life transitions—a new job, having kids, getting divorced or widowed, relocating. But you’re never too old to make new pals. Look for people who seem interesting in your tennis class, at volunteer functions, with common hobbies and strike up a conversation—ask a question, make a comment. Someone has to initiate. It might as well be you. Next—a coffee date or a walk together.

Ignoring medical tests

No question, good genes help with healthy aging. But you still have some control here. Make sure you ask your doc when and how often to have these screenings: blood pressure, colonoscopy, mammogram, pelvic exam, eye exam (macular degeneration, cataracts and glaucoma are common with age), cholesterol, vaccines (shingles, pneumococcal, flu shot, tetanus), and bone density. Of course, also ask about the frequency of tests for any specific ailments you suffer.

Letting fear rob you of what you want

Maybe you were raised by an overly anxious parent. Maybe you’re fearful because of a past traumatic event. Perhaps a therapist is the quickest route to overcoming this issue. However you choose to tackle it, make facing your fears a priority. “The saddest thing is to have regrets at the end of life about things you really wanted to do and didn’t because you were afraid,” says Tessina. “Use the chance now to try something you want. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose—but fear.”

Feeling too awkward to tell people how much they matter

If your family of origin was not particularly emotive, expressing feelings may feel totally alien. But it’s critical for this reason: “Not expressing your love to others ultimately separates you emotionally from them,” says Tessina. Forget the old excuse: “But they already know I love them,” and step up. It can be face to face or by a note sent to each and every person you care about, telling them how you feel about their presence in your life.

Thinking you’re immune to falls

One out of three people age 65 and older fall each year, and if you fall once, you are at twice the risk of falling again. Know how to protect yourself. Ask your doc if any of your meds could be making you less stable; also ask if you might be Vitamin D deficient. Incorporate strength and balance exercises into your routine. Get your eyes checked. Make your home safe (add grab bars by the tub or shower, add more or brighter lighting in dim parts of your home, create unobstructed walkways throughout, and put up railings near stairs). And perhaps consider retiring those three-inch stilettos!

Finally, living by an outdated script

If you’re like most of us, you’ve been living by a script written in childhood that highlights your weaknesses: I’m too fat, I’m not a good enough daughter/mother/friend, I never finish anything I start. By the time you’re in your 60s, it’s time to rewrite the script—with YOU as the hero of your life.

Acknowledge with gratitude all the things in your life that make it good.Be generous to others, especially with kindness and thanks.Live by your personal ethics as a way to feel good and increase happiness.

And finally, remember that if you think poorly of yourself, that’s how others will respond to you. If you think highly…well, you get the picture.

We think it’s interesting to learn what’s going on in the fascinating minds of women 45+. Here are 10 responses.

“I would change some of the things I have done in my past and try to understand how to be a good mom. You can teach them the best way you know how, but it doesn’t go that way.” Patricia

“Live for today and not worry so much about yesterday.” Tammy

“My financial decisions.” Joyce

“Much as I hate to say it, I’m chiming in with “weight”. Would it make everything perfect? No. But I believe it would make me feel physically better.” Paulette

“To stop feeling like I always have to fix things….I can’t turn it off.” Helena

“Have the mobility I had in my 40s.” Linda

“ Learn to forgive easier.” Barker

“I would’ve done a better job as a mother. I obsess constantly on how I thought I was doing right by my daughters, yet they made all the wrong decisions. Now I’m raising four grandkids and I pray I do right by them. I’m doing the best I can with what I have.” Darlene

Here’s what’s true. Not everyone has a partner. It doesn’t matter if you are after 50 or before 50; sometimes we are without a romantic interest. And sometimes we have a partner that we don’t have sex with! What can feel like celibacy just happens in all sorts of ways. We can lose a partner through illness or through breakups that range from losing our lover to losing our marriage. Sometimes — we just never manage to find or keep a partner for long.

Unconscious celibacy is more common than you might think.

We wake up one day and realise we have stopped having sex. And what if we don’t feel like dating? Perhaps Tinder is not calling your name. It can happen in every adult life that we just need a time out from seeking someone new — or from even having sex with the one we are with.

So how do you manage that and not feel erotically dead inside? Is that possible? Does being single or not erotically engaged with another person have to equate with being sensually shut down? What does it mean to a person who is not having sex to hear: “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.”

We can live an “Orgasmic Life” with or without a partner — or while we are taking a break from being traditionally sexually active.

So what exactly is that? And more importantly — how do we get it? Does it mean that we’re walking around with vibrators in our panties? Or is it more about becoming unclenched, and a bit more smudged?

What is it to open up to living erotically awake lives with only ourselves? Living an orgasmic life is bigger than our genitals and can include our genitals.

Qualities of Living an Orgasmic Celibate Life:

1. Open up to the magic of being playful in all aspects of your life. If a friend invites you to Disney Land — GO! Embrace your inner spontaneity, your desire for adventure and curiosity. When we don’t have a partner we can live more “in the moment” and we can embrace our own willingness to surrender to desire.

2. Living an orgasmic life means that we can forget our masks. You no longer need to be a certain way for anybody. How does that feel, to dress for yourself completely? Think about how you are dressing everyday. Does wearing sweat pants feel sexy? Then put them on. Maybe it’s day for hot shoes and tight-fitting pants — have at it. What feels sexy to you?

3. Indulge your senses. How awake can you be to the world around you? Can you take yourself on your own food tour and nibble your way through a city? Visit a garden and take pictures of flowers and plants that feel sexy and beautiful to you? Can you offer your eyes to people and engage in a smile or small talk in the line at the coffee shop? Where are the moments that — if we are conscious and willing — can knit together a very sexy day? Living a life of sexual aliveness is about engaging with the world and trying new things. Perhaps it’s time to learn how to tango? Get a brand new look? The truth is that you really don’t have to do much except show up and be willing to embrace the erotic around us all the time.

4. Buy a cookbook for one and begin cooking extraordinary meals for yourself. Set the table. Romance yourself.

5. Being in a relationship with ourselves erotically is an opportunity for you to let your guard down. Take some time to explore what you really want in your life. There are many opportunities for both men and women to explore themselves erotically through classes, retreats and trips. Whether it is something to get you back to your body or painting in Italy, or writing in France, it exists. Want to go on a wild woman adventure? It’s there. It’s about being willing to explore what we want even if we are not sure exactly what we want. It’s about risking and being vulnerable.

6. Finding ourselves alone in our own sexuality is an opportunity to learn how to be unapologetic in our needs and desires. Consider this a time of creation and an opportunity to take your time to create the kind of life that you really want.

7. Explore and get intimate with your body. Consider creating a self-pleasuring practice. When we find ourselves unexpectedly celibate it can be an extraordinary gift of self discovery. The places that we often do not go offer an opportunity to get erotically honest and vulnerable with ourselves. Where are your soft, wet, messy, broken-open places? That is exactly where sexy flows from. It’s the space where a truly orgasmic life can be born.

Remember this: You do not have to have a partner to live an erotic life. You are not famished for a partner. You can eat from the erotic buffet at any time. You are not left and you do not need finding. Love is all around you. It’s really more than fine to spend some time in our own bodies and not seeking anything other than what feels good in this moment — and the possibilities are endless.

Individualism is a distinctive quality of boomer women. Whatever image we choose to present to the world, we have secret passions. These are the interests that intrigue us and determine how we relax and unwind. Our hobbies are what we do with “our time”.

For women, there also seems to be a universal desire to express our creativity. We have an insatiable desire to shape order from chaos and to create things that never existed before. Women who have children will understand this. We want to produce magic with paints, wool and glass or create beauty with words and music.

Hobbies shape our personalities, energize, inspire and connect us with other like-minded women. They often end up giving our life its meaning. The types of hobbies that women over 60 wrap their hearts around may surprise you!

New qualitative research by Professor Roslyn Russell at RMIT University in Melbourne has explored why women make the financial decisions they do. Professor Russell discovered the major factors behind most decisions for women were family and relationships. It’s no different when a woman is single or in a relationship without children, she still puts the same factors first.

Here’s what Professor Russell had to share with Moxie Market about her research.

What do you believe is the driving force behind women’s financial decisions?

From our research we found the strongest force is relationships, family and children. The demands of looking after the family or maintaining a relationship was paramount in the priority women placed in making financial decisions.

What role does gender play in relation to big decisions like buying a home?

Having a home is important to women as it represents security and a place to care for their families. Again, with single women, there was a trend for single women to invest in units – they saw it as security. Incentives like the first home buyers grant have been instrumental in these trends. In fact, this year has been the first time when women outnumbered males in buying property.

Big decision making is an area that women, in the past, have tended to hand over to their partner. Does this look like changing?

I’m not sure – it’s not as clear cut as ‘handing over’ big decisions. Most women would think that big decisions were shared. But it did seem they would go along with decisions their partner wanted, in order to demonstrate trust and commitment to the relationship. It’s not that they disagreed with the decisions, but perhaps haven’t protected themselves sufficiently in the decisions.

Some of the baby boomer women had been burned by trusting husbands or partners in the past but most of the younger women hadn’t experienced as much family breakdown (yet) and were quite adamant this wouldn’t happen to them.

Some of the younger women earned more than their partners and didn’t feel vulnerable financially at all. The main issue isn’t the decisions the partner makes that are wrong, but that women feel that finances and trust/love go together. If the trust is misplaced then there is more at stake than just a broken heart.

Financial literacy is important. But are there any other ways women can help their own situation?

Yes, our research tends to suggest that by actually being involved and taking an active interest in finances will lead to greater levels of financial literacy – it isn’t always the reverse. Research, talking to other women, and making finances a common topic among friends would help bring issues into the light and give women the awareness they aren’t the only ones facing difficult financial decisions. If women make it the norm to understand their whole financial situation – with or without a partner, rather than the norm being to deal with day-to-day budgeting only, would also help.

If women make it the norm to understand their whole financial situation – with or without a partner, rather than the norm being to deal with day-to-day budgeting only - would also help.

and investments.

You’re never too old to be bold, bright and stylish! The trick is to know yourself and to consistently dress within your signature style.

Our generation of Moxie women have been participants in one of the most innovative and challenging periods of fashion history. We have seen the ‘50s, ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s fashions revamped, recycled and taken as their own by current generations of young women.

Turning fifty doesn’t necessarily mean you wake up one morning and find your jeans don’t fit, your cleavage is a little farther off, and you can suddenly see more of your scalp (with your glasses on, of course!) It can, however, feel that way! And fashion for baby boomer women or the mental image of aging gracefully definitely doesn’t mean high collars and muted colors any more!

Understanding and discovering a personal style may have taken longer for those who followed the fashion trends religiously. Some of the most stylish women we see today were influenced by the fashion revolutions of the ‘60s. The key is finding what our own style is and incorporating the elements of fashion we love and were influenced by. It’s never too late to bring fun, personality and individuality to our own personal style.

Check out these wonderful women - inspirational!

Sophia LorenCatherine DeneuveHelen MirrenFaye DunawayRaquel WelchAnn MargaretDiane Keaton

Chic fashion for women over fifty is alive and well! Part of the persona is a sense of experience and assurance…women who are lifelong learners, love to travel and enjoy every minute life gives them.

“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”

When we were little girls, we dreamed about “being someone.”

We wanted to visit amazing places and do amazing things. Then, for most of us, life took over. Now, in our middle years, many of us feel like the comedienne Lily Tomlin, who once said, “I always wanted to be someone, but now I realize I needed to be more specific.”

As children, our spirit and sense of adventure was limitless. Then, over the years, we were guided by well-meaning parents and teachers into “useful” and "safe" careers. One bump at a time, we learned to be “more practical.”

Then, at puberty, our hormones led many of us into relationships and we started families. There's nothing “wrong” with this. Most of us love being a mum. It’s just that, for many of us, our other dreams were left on the back-burner.

The fact is our childhood dreams never die. As women in our middle years, we can still follow our passions. To do so, we must overcome our fears and ask ourselves.......

“What would I do if I knew I could not fail?”

Amazing stuff happens when you find your tribe. Momentum, clarity, accountability, innovation, inspiration. Not to mention all the warm fuzzy stuff like new found friendships, epic collaborations & planning adventures.

There’s also an element of relief involved. Feeling so stoked that you found them. Like ‘Finally! These are my kind of people!’

The good news is we all have a tribe. Yours is waiting for you.

How the heck do I find my tribe?

Start by seeking out people with common interests. It’s about finding people who share common values (think freedom, entrepreneurship, positivity, contribution).Trust your instincts here – you know when you meet someone for the first time & get that ‘ding! ding! ding! this person GETS me’ feeling? That’s a good indication that they are in your tribe.You need to look for your 1/3. To summarize: 1/3 of the people you come across will dislike you; 1/3 of the people you meet will be indifferent toward you; and 1/3 of the people you come into contact with will love you. You’re looking for that that last 1/3. Those are your people. Don’t worry about the other 2/3.Be generous – seriously, this is all about giving. If you are reaching out to someone to be in your tribe, ask yourself, how can I be of service to them? Can I share their work with others, can I send potential customers their way, how can I help them reach their goal?Decide if there’s a particular type of activity that you want to engage in with your tribe, such as starting a book club, taking hiking trips, going to happy hour, or visiting museums and gallery openings.

Have FUN !! You know what? If you find yourself feeling a ho-hum about contacting someone, it’s a clear sign that they’re not a good fit for your tribe. When you find the right people, you’ll be super excited to catch up with them. These are the folk who light you up, who you’d freaking love to hang out with because you know you’d have an absolute blast.

As Boomer women we are redefining retirement, shunning the conventional traditions of stopping, ceasing, and leaving in favour of staying involved, continuing to contribute, and following our passions.

These are exciting times to be living in, pushing boundaries, exerting influence and entering what we could call a ‘third stage’ in our lives.

Many of us continue to work in paid employment, but now see opportunities for a career change, perhaps a move to self-employment.

Women Entrepreneurs Are ‘More Ambitious and Successful’ Than Men according to a recent survey of high and ultra-high net worth entrepreneurs

Successful women entrepreneurs are not only matching their male counterparts – in several ways, they’re outperforming them.

That’s according to the 2016 BNP Paribas Global Entrepreneur Report, for which Scorpio Partnership consultancy surveyed about 2,600 high and “ultra-high” net worth entrepreneurs from 18 countries.

The researchers found that almost 90% of women entrepreneurs expected their companies’ gross profits to increase or remain stable in the next year. More specifically, 61% expected profits to rise, compared to an average of 58% among all entrepreneurs.

“They are more ambitious and have been more successful than their male counterparts,” Sofia Merlo, co-CEO of BNP Paribas Wealth Management, says of the women entrepreneurs surveyed.

Take some time to daydream about what’s next for you.

Write out your list and keep it where you will see it daily.Write an action plan for achieving your career bucket list items, and get an “accountability buddy” to keep you on track.Review your career bucket list quarterly to monitor your progress and identify any obstacles or breakdowns.Revise and adjust your plan by integrating your newfound wisdom and insights.

There are so many factors that influence our well-being, at any age......spirituality, sexuality, menopause, fitness, health, finances, relationships and more.

In recent decades renewed attention has been given to the notion of middle age and particularly to women in this age group. Many of us think that this is a welcome development. These women - popularly referred to as ‘baby boomers’ -have capitalised on the major sociocultural changes and transformed meanings and behavioural codes traditionally attached to this age group.

In numerous interviews, in both academic and popular media, the dominant sentiment voiced by middle-aged women is of overall satisfaction - a greater sense of confidence in relationships and a greater sense of authenticity: ‘Now it is totally me.’

“Your fifties are a lot more interesting.

You feel more comfortable in your bones.

You know what you know and don’t know.

And you are not afraid to own up to not knowing!”

Ellen Barkin – American actor

Are you one of the many women who find it hard to let themselves take time ‘off’? Moxie Market will be bringing you leisure ideas to pique your interest and inspire you to make the most of your ‘me time’. Some find it easy to maintain a good work–life balance; others struggle to find that balance and to even come to terms with the fact that it’s ok to take ‘time off’ from paid work and the daily chores to do something of interest entirely for themselves without feeling a sense of guilt. Why is that?

After years of selflessly raising families, possibly providing for them as well, when those demands have lessened - or even gone - it can take some adjustment. There comes a realisation that it’s ok to say ‘I’m not cooking tonight’, ‘I’m meeting a girlfriend for a drink after work’. It can be a little exciting to be a bit selfish, to rediscover your own likes and dislikes, to say ‘no’ and even draw up a bucket list of things you want to do.

It could be something as simple as sitting down to read a book during the day, going for a walk by yourself or with a friend, taking up golf, cycling or dancing.

Take a look at this Bucket List Worksheet, click on the page and download a copy to print. Have fun completing as many versions of your Bucket List as you like!

Hands up those who did their OE in the 60s and 70s? Our tastes may have changed but our love of the new is just as strong.

Reflecting on the Big OE

The draw of London’s fashion scene, the music and the shopping were what drove many of us. Having grown up through the visit of Queen Elizabeth and the Duke of Edinburgh in 1953, the numerous stories of the royals and the history of the Empire gave a sense of needing to know ‘where we came from’.

Looking back now, taking off alone on an ‘overseas experience’ was a major undertaking that wasn’t without a little fear and trepidation. The mode was primarily by plane, with endless stopovers, or by ship which took up to eight weeks.

What a learning curve that was! Many will have stories to tell of experiences, both good and bad, relationships, both good and bad, and the homesickness. Remember, it was letter, telegram or expensive toll calls from a red phone booth - often reversed charges - and it wasn’t cheap living in London. No mobile phones, no Skype.

Our OE experiences shaped us and were, in some cases, life changing. Then came the marriage and families. Buying houses and filling them with furniture, buying a car and if you were lucky a trip away for a few weeks over Christmas and the school holidays. Then the oil crisis of the 70’s put paid to any thoughts of another trip overseas for many years.

Enjoying the here and now

The kids have left home, and many of us are grandparents. A huge number of us are still working and we are itching to get out there and embrace those parts of the world currently safe enough to visit. The travel wish list generated back in the 1980s and 1990s has been whittled back by wars, revolutions and dam building.

How priorities have changed - maybe paying off the mortgage isn’t as important as it used to be, keeping up with the Jones certainly isn’t. What has become important is to experience life and visit as many countries and cultures of the world as we can possibly squeeze in while we are fit, healthy, and continue to hold jobs that help pay for it.

Share your OE experiences with us!

Turmeric is known for it’s anti inflammatory properties. Did you know though, the bioavailability of turmeric is increased when you pair it with certain foods? Turmeric is used to alleviate symptoms of arthritis, asthma, bloating, digestive issues, liver problems, heartburn and headaches. It has also been found to aid in fat metabolism and weight management. So how do you get the most out of this wonder food? You pair it with healthy fats and black pepper. The piperine is a key chemical in black pepper that helps with the absorption of curcumin; the active ingredient in turmeric. This turmeric latte recipe uses both. The recipe uses coconut oil as the fat source. If you haven’t had a lot of coconut oil before an increase in fats can cause stomach discomfort in some people. Start with ½ a tablespoon of coconut oil and build up.

Serves 1

1 cup unsweetened almond or coconut milk

1 heaped tablespoon fresh turmeric root, grated (or use approximately 1-2 teaspoons turmeric paste – see below) The turmeric taste is quite strong, so if you’re not sure start with one teaspoon and build up.

1 teaspoon cinnamon ½ tsp of vanilla powder or a dash of pure vanilla essence

1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger root (or 1 teaspoon ground)

¼ tsp ground cardamom (optional)

½ - 1 tablespoon coconut oil

Raw honey or sweetener of choice to taste

Pinch of black pepper

Note:

To make the turmeric paste, combine 2 parts turmeric powder with 1 part boiling water. Mix and store any extra in the fridge for up to 5 days.

METHOD

Gently warm the almond or coconut milk in a small saucepan. Watch that it doesn’t boil. Add turmeric, ginger, vanilla, cinnamon and cardamom if using. Next, combine coconut oil with the mixture and gently heat together until melted. Use a wire whisk or stick blender to create a foam. Continue to stir until frothy and heated through. Stir in honey or sweetener of choice if desired. It might be sweet enough with the cinnamon and coconut milk (if using). Sprinkle with more cinnamon (or ground cardamom) and wrap your mitts around a warm mug.

Note: The turmeric can stain, so be careful of any benchtops or clothes.

We are excited to introduce Ben Warren of BePure to you.

"I recently attended one of Ben’s event with my daughter who has had a long history of endometriosis, headaches, bloating, weight that wouldn’t shift despite dieting and vigorous exercise. Ben quickly identified a number of people in the room as having oestrogen dominance. My daughter took up the two-week detox challenge and is taking the BePure supplements. After three weeks her headaches have lessened, and she has an increased sense of well-being. We recommend you visit the BePure website to read more". Pauline, Moxie Market.

Here's Ben; I’m excited to teach you things about your health, and especially on what changes you can make to improve your health and the way you feel. In my first article for Moxie Market, I will be sharing some facts about cruciferous vegetables that have been shown to kill cancer cells. Cruciferous vegetables are from the Brassica family – vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, kale, collard greens and bok choy to name a few. If you are not eating these every day you might want to start…

Research published in the Molecular Nutrition and Food Research reports that sulforaphane – one of the primary phytochemicals in broccoli and other cruciferous vegetables – is able to selectively target and kill cancer cells, leaving normal cells healthy and unaffected. In fact, cruciferous vegetables remarkable anti-cancer benefits are well documented.

The combination of phytochemicals found in cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, kale, collard greens) may be the key to their powerful effects. They contain glucosinolates from which the body can make sulforaphane and indole-3-carbonol (I3C). This is converted into Di-indolyl-methane (DIM). All these compounds improve liver detoxification both of carcinogens, but also of excess oestrogens that are strongly linked to breast cancer.

So ladies you need to be eating your cruciferous vegetables!

Breast cancer is the most common cancer in women in many countries worldwide, including New Zealand. With three in every four breast cancers being oestrogen positive, meaning the cancer growth is stimulated by oestrogen. Eating cruciferous vegetables and reducing oestrogen is therefore a major factor in protecting against breast cancer.

But the gents need to eat them too! Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley have discovered that Di-indolyl-methane (DIM) is a strong androgen receptor antagonist in human prostate cancer cells, helping protect against prostate cancer. Cruciferous vegetables also induce enzymes in your body called cytochrome P450 enzymes, these enzymes are responsible for detoxification within your liver and help manufacture many of your hormones in the adrenal glands.

This means that eating cruciferous can also help you stay slim with lots of energy!So, if you are not eating cruciferous vegetables every day you are increasing your risks of becoming oestrogen dominant and the health complications that come with that, plus you are limiting your energy production and fat loss.

On the BePure website, we’ve got some delicious recipes that include cruciferous vegetables. Here’s one for you to try now.

The divorce rate among over-50s is booming. Dubbed the ‘Silver Splitters’ there is a global tsunami of people in their 50s and 60s who are saying ‘no more’.

Figures suggest the divorce rate among baby boomers is booming, with divorces doubling in the last decade. Today one in four in this age group are untying the marital knot.

We know that you can reach a point in a long marriage where you say, “This is not the way I want to live.” Or you have to decide, “Do I really want thirty more years of this?” Or you muddled through while living parallel lives, but “when the money ran out [and you] had to face each other,” you chose to get out.

Women tend to have higher expectations for their emotional life, and are less inclined to just put up with a poor situation. Combining this with their increased career achievements and financial security, plus a general feeling of empowerment, leads them to initiate about 60 percent of the splits.

And another insight worth noting: With children in their twenties, most Over 50’s don’t feel they need to “stay together for the kids.” But beyond that, many women actually see the act of getting out as good role modeling for those young adult children. They feel they’re showing their kids they won’t let fear rule their lives, and that they’re willing to take a risk in the pursuit of a better situation.

While every situation is different, even after property and assets are settled women can find themselves requiring a mortgage to purchase a new home and having to remain in the workforce for longer than planned.

Some of the new trends we see now are for those in similar situations banding together to rent a home that is more in keeping with the standard they were used to rather than buying into a property that is burdened with a mortgage and maintenance responsibilities. Another is to take in international students or boarders to cover costs.

Although popular in North America and Europe, certified divorce financial planners are yet to make it to New Zealand. You can start yourself, by taking stock of your day-to-day finances, then work your way up to tackling longer-term money issues.

Start the conversation....what has been your experience???

Tattoos are not just for young people, a great number of older women, including Judi Dench, are choosing to celebrate their past, present and future in beautiful ink.

In Judi’s case, she decided to have the words “carpe diem” (seize the day) placed on her wrist to celebrate her 81st birthday. Not all of you will have a tattoo, but you have to admire Judi’s choice for several reasons.

Women Over 60 Are Breaking Aging Stereotypes.Unlike previous generations of older women who were forced into invisibility, we are free to be ourselves. We can pay attention to the latest fashion trends or make up our own rules. We can let our hair go grey or we can continue to colour our hair blond, brown, purple.

Getting a tattoo won’t appeal to every woman my age. At the same time you have to love the fact that people like Judi and Helen Mirren are making it acceptable for those older women who want a tattoo to get one.

A Beautiful Reminder from a Radiant Woman

The second reason to love Judi’s new tattoo is the message itself. “Carpe diem” is a perfect description of how most women feel about life after 60.

Let’s show the world that life after 60 is something to be celebrated, not feared!

Do you have a tattoo? If so, why did you decide to get it? If not, would you ever get a tattoo? If so, what would it say?

For those of us who solo travel, there are three main things we look for in our travel accommodation. We typically want it to be:

SocialSafeCentral

For some, solo travel is about solitude. But for most of us it’s about the opportunities that solo travel presents for meeting locals and other travellers. Your choice in accommodation greatly affects your ability to meet the latter. Hotels with casual lounges, hostels with common rooms and cafes, B&B’s where everyone shares breakfast… all present chances to chat with other travellers, learn from them and possibly spend a day or evening together. Look through the The Solo Traveller Accommodation Guide and you’ll find that most of the recommendations deliver on the social front.

Safe: Safety must take a high priority when choosing your accommodation. Again, there are three aspects to safety:

Personal safety inside your lodgingPersonal safety outside your lodgingThe safety of your things.

Whether you’re staying in a hostel or a hotel, B&B or a resort, you can check out the safety before booking. Go onto Google’s Streetview to confirm that it is in a safe area. Is the area buzzing and in good shape or is it in a sketchy neighbourhood? Ask about the security at your preferred lodging. Is there front door security? Do people have access to all floors or just the floor that their room is on? Is there a deadbolt on your door? Is there a safe in the room? If it’s a hostel, do you have a locker in your room?

Central: Central means that your accommodation is near your destination’s main attractions. The farther you have to travel in a city the greater the range of neighbourhoods you’ll travel through. Going it alone, it’s better to be exploring near your temporary home than far away.

Freaking out because you’re over 50 and feel like you’re no longer young or attractive? There’s good news and bad coming your way. The bad news is you’re partially right. You’re not that young. Note the “that” because you are still relatively young in the scheme of things. Lots of people live well into their 90s. To them you are a spring chicken, not even remotely old.

Now the good news: If looking good is your goal, you can. It’s all in the attitude. So, break out your inner gorgeous self and get started today because you are about to bitch-slap any insecurities you have about getting older. It’s all about the 3 R’s. And, no, they are no longer Reading, ‘Riting, and ‘Rithmatic. That’s “old” thinking and we are all about dumping that mindset.

The New Three R’s of Being Beautiful

1. Reframe your age. Instead of lamenting the things you’re losing as you age, you know like elasticity or the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound, consider the perks of the passing years. You’re smarter than you once were. So smart, in fact, you don’t let the media stereotypes about aging unnerve you. You know those photos of women are airbrushed and “Photoshopped,” so you no longer aspire to look like those unrealistic images. You know you look good when you smile and you’ve learned a smile goes a long way toward making life easier and more pleasant. You’ve learned running or walking a few miles feels pretty damn good and you no longer care how fast you do it. You’ve learned the power of being grateful for every day you wake up with the ability to take on a new day. Appreciating that will definitely improve the expression on your face. You may have chosen not to embrace your silver hair but you’ve learned the joy of embracing life’s silver linings. That can make you beautiful. But, if you do crave compliments, try this: Lie about your age. Tell people you are ten years older than you are. They’re bound to say, “Wow, you look amazing for your age.” Okay, they may be lying, but it’ll feel good to hear.

2. Raise some hell. You can get away with stuff you could never get away with in your 20s. Better yet, raise some hell with friends. Be a little loud, a bit boisterous, and somewhat naughty. Say things you would never have said when you were younger. It has been scientifically proven you look better surrounded by people you love. Why do you think Girls’ Night Out is such a popular activity? You think ladies just like to go out drinking with their friends to have fun? Okay, they do, but they also do it because friendship makes everyone better looking. A night out laughing with friends is, again, scientifically proven to knock five years off your old ass. Combine hellraising with outdoor exercise and it knocks ten years off your old ass. So take a hike in the woods with your friends, and at some point, strip off your shirts and go topless.

treated you like crap.

I believe if I refuse to grow old, I can stay young till I die.

1. We say no to all manner of things that we might previously have accepted This includes any social engagement that requires standing up for extended periods.

Gigs - once my night out of choice - must now be seated and within an hour's travel of my home. Queuing to get in anywhere is out of the question, and music in bars must be low enough to allow conversation.

Table service is preferable; clear access to the bar and clean loos are non-negotiable. A last-minute cancellation feels like a Lotto win for all concerned.

2. Aches and pains become A Thing Every time I move my neck or wrist after a period of inactivity, I hear the sound of someone gently palpating a bag of nachos. Noisier still is the grunt I expel as I hoist myself from a chair after dinner. I now need reading specs, which I clean by leaning over an open dishwasher door and waiting for them to cloud up.

3. We want fewer, but better friends I simply don't have the time to spend on crazies (a madness score of up to 7/10 is within normal range), untrustworthy gossips or joy-sappers. Friendship is suddenly every bit as important as it was at 4 years old, except you don't attempt to woo those who don't like you.

4. We don't entertain any holiday accommodation that's less nice than where we live I'm old enough to know and accept that Dubai is not for me, and am cheery in the knowledge that I will never go skiing. Otherwise, any week off in which I laugh, eat and watch films somewhere lovely with my partner constitutes the holiday of a lifetime.

5. We can deal with nuance Having spent my teens, 20s and 30s feeling certain of my every opinion, I'm now far more likely to say "I don't know" or "I don't think it's that simple". This extends to politics, relationships, jazz music, caravans, religion and Taylor Swift - but not karaoke or offal. I walk away from arguments not because I'm more tolerant, but because I can simply no longer be arsed. The more I know, the less sure I am of anything other than that life is messy and most people are well-meaning and essentially good.

6. We have irrational crushes Having been dismissive of their abject uncoolness in my teens, I now really, really fancy Take That.

7. We wonder about those in charge I look at almost everyone in a position of authority and invariably think they look about 9. I'm shocked that anyone other than my children was born post Berlin Wall and Bros.

8. Death becomes a preoccupation Not in some nihilistic or maudlin way: I think about death every day simply because I am more accepting of its inevitability. This is in some ways positive. I now collect happy memories obsessively, take time out to enjoy my loved ones and actively plan things I want to do, instead of putting them off. But I become furious at all the obnoxious people allowed to live while my loved ones are stolen by cancer.

9. We know the price AND value of everything Despite my new-found appreciation of the preciousness of time, I waste hours on irrelevant pursuits. I can digest a week's worth of junk mail catalogues in one sitting. I now keep warranty cards, register appliances, insure everything and never let my AA cover lapse, because I no longer enjoy the blind optimism of youth.

10. Looks still matter to us I am disbelieving of those who claim not to give a damn about their changing face and body in their 40s. I'm not thrilled that my eyelids are hooding, and I definitely care that I'm a dress size bigger. Just not enough to get surgery, do yoga or pretend that shredded courgettes are a substitute for spaghetti.

11. We can say sorry I am able to say I made a mistake. I make hundreds and I'm happy to say so because the belligerent are completely unbearable company.

12. Crying also is A Thing I cry often - at game-show wins, song lyrics, old couples holding hands, dogs with jobs, anything involving war veterans, David Attenborough documentaries (especially about polar bears) and, yes, even the John Lewis Christmas advert.

13. Fashion becomes complicated I have, for the first time in my life, stopped to consider the concept of "mutton dressed as lamb". I carry flats in my handbag, wash tights in a hosiery bag and refuse to buy anything that needs dry cleaning.

14. Just one glass too many can tip us over the edge I can no longer drink alcohol until it flows from my eye sockets. Today, my head spins and my hangovers are biblical. Two nights out in a row are out of the question. I find myself being the tedious party guest who alternates proper drinks with sips of Pellegrino, then leaves without saying goodbye, in time to catch the third-to-last train home.

Boomer women live life in drive. Their outlook on life and the future is optimistic, eager and very engaged. One of the first thing Boomer women do as they grow older and have more “me time” is to return to some of the activities and passions they set aside when they got over committed with work and family responsibilities.

They remember how much they used to like to write or sing of teach or belly dance or climb mountains. Other examples are women who decided to prepare for retirement by taking business seminars. Others took classes in computers, photography, handicapping (when a new horse track opened in her area) and adventure (parachuting, rock climbing, rappelling.

… And They Seek Out New Possibilities

Many Boomer women are seeking out new directions. They recognize the world of possibilities before them and are unconcerned about starting fresh, being novices at something they’ve never tried before. They feel open to any opportunity and are willing to take risks the way they did when they were younger.

The irony is that when they were younger, they were unafraid because they thought they were immortal and couldn’t conceive of failure. Now they are unafraid to take risks because they know they won’t live forever, and they know failure is OK.

In the words of Katherine Mansfield....

“Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others ... Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth."

(Journal entry, 14 October 1922)”

Recommended reading:

What Color Is Your Parachute? 2016: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers

by Richard N. Bolles

What Color Is Your Parachute? is the world’s most popular job-hunting guide, revised and updated annually, with more than ten million copies sold. This 2016 edition features the latest studies and perspectives on today’s job-market, including proven strategies for finding jobs even when everyone tells you there are none. Career expert Richard N. Bolles reveals surprising advice on what works—and what doesn’t—so you can focus your efforts on tactics that yield results. This helpful manual shares proven tips for writing impressive resumes and cover letters, as well as guidance for effective networking, confident interviewing, and the best salary negotiating possible. But it goes beyond that by helping you to zero in on your ideal job—and life—with its classic Flower Exercise. Whether you’re searching for your first job, were recently laid off, or are dreaming of a career change, What Color Is Your Parachute? will guide you toward fulfilling and prosperous work.

If I had a dollar for every time a women over 45 said they feel there is a huge gap in the market regarding clothing for their age group, I’d be quite rich. I’ve been in the business of personal styling for over 10 years now and have talked to hundreds of women about this issue. Women say they don’t want to look like ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ but also don’t want to dress too ‘fuddy duddy’.

So firstly know you are not alone. It’s interesting how young people shops seems very young – loud music, young sales assistants etc and likewise the older style shops can seem to have shapeless items being sold by much older women.

I’m here to tell you that you can shop in BOTH. This is in fact the key to the problem. It’s not about the market these stores aim at, it’s about understanding YOUR OWN style, body and colours, then adapting it to your age.

Heading into a perceived younger store yes, let’s be honest 80% of the items in the shop are not age appropriate for the 45+ women. But don’t dismiss that shop. Because trust me, there will be clothing gems that will look fabulous on you. It could be a modern cardigan with the latest stripes – this is something that defies age boundaries. There could be a pair of patterned trousers that fit you like a glove which you can team with a classic style top and a chunky necklace.

Learn to dabble in all shops – if you can stand the loud music that is! Likewise heading into the older styled ranges, the 80/20 rule applies. I take client’s into both to prove that you can’t label shops anymore. You will narrow your options too much if you just stick to a few places that you think are aimed at your age group.

It’s also a sad fact that very expensive and designer shops are not always a safe option. I see many wonderful women in the Moxie age bracket who have time and money to spend on clothing getting talked into expensive and unflattering pieces. Apply the rule of a great colour, great style for your body shape and excellent fit across all clothing stores and you can make much wiser decisions.

It is never too late to find out about styles and colours that suit you and give you a burst of confidence, which I find can also start to deteriorate. Women’s bodies change so much over their lifetime, what suited you 5-10 years ago, often now doesn’t due to your shape, age, taste and lifestyle.

Colours are a good place to start. So many women whose colours I do say, ‘I used to wear that colour when I was younger’. But while your topical skin does change, the undertone doesn’t and the happiness I get from putting people BACK into the colours they loved and enjoyed and seeing the compliments flow is priceless.

Mixing classic cuts with bits and bobs from mainstream stores can modernise any looks. Don’t get stuck in a rut. Look at what you have and find inexpensive ways to give it a lift. If chunkier jewellery is in and you only wear fine pieces, buy a cheap and cheerful piece in a colour you love to experiment with. Mix those tailored classics with other pieces that are on trend. Update your hair or sunglasses.

The moral of the story is, don’t stay static with your style as things have moved on. This isn’t about trying to look younger. It is about being the very best you can be for your age, body shape, size and lifestyle RIGHT NOW. Look to others for inspiration, but follow your own style path. What suits others many not be right for you. Take an interest in trends that you like and adapt them to suit you. Stay colourful and confident and enjoy this new found freedom of shopping in all shops, but knowing what is right for you.

Trudi Bennett has successfully owned & run her personal styling business www.wardrobeflair.com for over 10 years in the Wellington region, and opened her Auckland offices two years ago.

She has a wealth of experience dressing everyday men and women, every size, shape and profession. Trudi is passionate about being able to give practical, down-to-earth advice to help people feel as confident as possible.

Her focus has always been to give people the tools to make wise, logical styling and shopping decisions, based on their body, budget and lifestyle.

Trudi is a motivational speaker at workshops, seminars & conferences all around NZ sharing her personal styling hints and tips in a humorous and engaging way.

She is a fashion blogger for numerous online sites and has previously dabbled in TV for Good Morning. Trudi is currently the Fashion and Style guru for CoastFM radio and is part of the Fashion Collection Styling team for Westfield NZ.

She is most proud of her work when she knows her clients’ realise anyone of any shape, size or profession can look and feel fantastic.

When she’s not styling, shopping, speaking or blogging Trudi enjoys exploring the outdoors of Auckland with her husband and 2 children, she loves to cook and tries at all times to laugh very loudly with family and friends.

For more information on Trudi and all her services, please head to www.wardrobeflair.com

For humorous, practical styling advice and hints check out https://www.facebook.com/WardrobeFlair or email Trudi personally trudi@wardrobeflair.com

I’ll tell you. It’s very funny. I have a dear friend whose mother’s gone, but she was very funny. When I’d say ‘Yuda, how do you feel?’ she’d say, ‘Oh—when I get up in the morning, everything I have two of, one hurts’. You have to push yourself when you’re older, because it’s very easy to fall into the trap. You start to fall apart—you just have to do your best to paste yourself together. I think doing things and being active is very important.

When your mind is busy, you don’t hurt so much. Thank God I love to do things. I feel blessed that I have all these opportunities at this stage in my life. I was always very busy with all kinds of stuff, and I’m very used to it—but at ninety, I have all these new careers—a makeup collection with MAC, working on glasses for Eye-Bobs, I’m on Home Shopping and on YOOX, and I do a big program with the fashion school at the University of Texas at Austin—they made me a professor.

I don’t do very much for beauty. I use very simple things on my skin. I haven’t got time. I would always get facials, and then come home laden with product, and pay a lot of money and never use it. I’m not good at putting on makeup, but you have to be a moron not to be able to put on lipstick. Now since I’m older, I don’t do my eyes anymore because when you’re older, your eyelids wrinkle. If you use blue or green, and you’re not really expert, you end up looking like a turtle.

When MAC asked me to do a collection, I was thrilled and flattered. I never thought I’d be doing this; it’s like some sort of an insane, psychedelic dream. I worked with them and we picked colours, and I told them the kind of colours I liked—I like bright, intense colours. I like the orangey-red lipsticks.

Those are my favourites. I like them all actually, and I love a nice hot pink. I like thick lipstick, otherwise it doesn’t look like you’re wearing lipstick. If you have a little rosebud mouth, maybe for young girls it’s nice—but older women need some colour. I think those whitish lips on older women look insane. There are some that look white, there are some funny colours. They don’t look attractive.

Aging gracefully is about no heavy make-up, and not too much powder because it gets into the wrinkles, and you know, to not get turtle eyelids, and to not try to look young. You don’t have to look like an old fuddy-duddy, but I believe it was Chanel who said, ‘Nothing makes a woman look so old as trying desperately hard to look young’.

I think you can be attractive at any age.